It’s always humans. Grivo thought watching the ridiculous crop of hair on the space captain bounce around while the rock’s rained down from the trees. The human yelled and screamed, firing laser blasts into the canopy with a… Klondike 93VII pistol from the looks of it. A very rare brand.
Grivo wondered if he could find it when the tree-dwelling squirrels were done with killing it. The human wore a red jacket and tight pants with boots that clumsily crushed plants and twisted the moss and vines under it’s feet.
Another lost fool, the alien thought from his den shaking his head. Whenever some new adventurer came to their planet, the noise always interrupted his shows. His TV picked up old program signals that were flying through space. He was watching a show called I love Lucy when the sounds of the angry tree beasts and the frantic spacer came to him.
This human reminded her of the Lucy of the show, it had the same curly hair. Although the show had none of the true color spectrum, the main character had been referred to as “red” enough times to understand that the Lucy of the show had red hair. Kind of like him only Grivo had red hair over most of his body.
The line “LUCY IM HOOOME!!” always made him chuckle.
He wondered: can humans only see in black and white?
Yet now Grivo looked out from his den and watched the human dance around to avoid the rocks being hurled down. The squirrels were masters of camouflage. There was no way the human could know where they were in the dense canopy that covered the world he had been marooned on. There was nowhere for her to hide from their keen eyes and undiscriminating hatred.
If they would just live long enough I could get to their ship and get out of here.
The human continued to try to find cover but the tree squirrels were all over the human. Grivo watched them move about in the canopy, their dark shapes flashing across spaces where the sky lent in. He knew exactly where they were. He had his own keen eyes and the knowledge from living on the planet made him apt at noticing where the five foot squirrels were.
He had once been a part of a crew that went many places in the universe but after a series of unexpected inter-dimensional encounters, he was left on a ship full of an unfriendly race of space pirates a good five thousand years before he was born. They had left him with nothing…except his TV, yellow couch, Turkish rug, red and white Malboro hat, espresso machine, and pinball machine of course. Grivo had no idea where he was temporally but the five thousand earlier from his time was an educated guess.
He shook from his mental travels to the real world.
Suddenly the human was darting out from behind a tree straight for him.
Oh Shit! thought Grivo as the human headed his way.
It dodged through bushes and fired back behind it with a spray of purple beams. A hail of rocks rained down and struck the human several times. It tripped over a root but rolled and recovered. It stood it’s ground and shot back at the direction the rocks came from. More rocks flew down from above and struck the human in several places. The human turned and fled, running closer to Grivo.
I swear if I get found out…
He ducked into his den a little more. The human yelled out as it neared.
Crap crap crap
Grivo ducked further down but the human was already on top of him, running in a frantic panic.
The human clumsily tripped over the purple Govi mushroom in his front yard and fell headfirst directly into Grivo’s den and Grivo as well.
The two tumbled down into the hole.
“What the hell!” Grivo yelled after the tumble terminated, throwing the human off of him and standing over the creature on his feet paws with his arms arched to either side.
“Damnit, now the squirrels know where I live! Do you think I want rocks thrown at me everytime i need to take a piss!!”
After a moment Grivo’s whiskers relaxed and he lowered his arms.
The human was dazed and unconscious by the rocks and the fall.
“Why did you come here anyway? are you after my bounty? Or are you just some hapless individual lost in the cosmos?”
Grivo talked mostly to himself, as Grivo mostly does.
Grivo looked upwards and began to shout “Hey I do not mostly talk to myself!”
Only silence returned Grivo’s crazy outburst. Whether it was the years of solitude with late 1950’s Earth shows or the sudden shock of another living person in his assumed home, the mental trauma did not obscure the fact that the human had passed out. A lump the size of a Gelta seed was on the back of it’s head.
Oh why do these things happen to me? He thought.