There once was a wardgarble big and strong,

Who played the tambourine all day long.

With a jingle and a jangle she would step to a beat,

And never was bothered by those who wanted her to eat.

The wardgarble went hither and thither and all the way fro,

Through the sand, the grass and, all in the snow,

Through sea, and sky, and through our great star,

No place is beyond the wardgarble to mar.

With no sympathy, aid, or any remorse,

The wardgarble continues its damnable course,

A Jingle and jangle all through the night,

An unstoppable force of power and might.


One day Darren and the gang went out to find some traffic cones, it was 1:30 in the morning and they were hammered. The silver taurus was nick’s rental car and so imagine, if you can understand, the reckless abandon in which nick drove the car down the darkened salt soaked and muddy streets of a new England town.

 Among the six of the people crammed in the car Darren was the most lucid, however she had at that point in the evning decided that things don’t matter anymore, like the packets of ketchup that keep sliding across the dashboard with the unknown pair of sunglasses, the way the outside world was becoming only wavy obstacles. 

Darren looked over to the others in the car, rachel, messiah, nick, and hank, (who names people hank now a days? King of the hill enthusiasts most likely). They were laughing as the world of the car interior flung their long hair and jewelry and their heads at precisely the same moment with each bump and sketchy turn through the unknown world of dark trees and grey road and snow. 

Nick began complaining about not seeing any traffic cones and drove on. He lit a cigarette and lowered the window and the gust of 50mph wind tore through the car, tearing at garments and sending cold incarnate across the passangers. Darren in the middle seat was accosted by a tumbledryer of messiah and Rachel hair. 

As nick swerved out of the way of an oncoming car Darren thought to herself I’m done with this. But the confines of the car seemed impregnable. Fortunately however Darren was half etheric and had shapeshifting abilities. 

“Hey i’ll like…catch you guys around.” She said as nick dropped his cigarette between the seats and scrambled to look for it in the light of another on comming car. No one said anything, they only looked at darren with judgement.

With that she transformed into an etherial falcon and flew out from the car through the roof. She flew higher and higher towards the stars and probably fought dragons and shit cuz she ain’t about basic people. 

Lesson of the day:

Don’t get into a car with anyone named nick.

Drunk Haikus From the River

Hey hey how are you?

Not bad, but how are you, dude?

Pretty great, How are you?

Genessee is a beer

But then again, so is papst Blue

But beer sucks tho, dude




The fire is bold,

But, I am not impressed though,

Other things happen,


Broken windowshade

Blue sky and sunlight lazer

It is too early now