Sometimes you wonder what choices you could have made and if that might have changed your entire reality, who knows how different the world could have been if you decided to go that other route. Well you didn’t. You went the way that it is now, maybe that’s a depressing thought, maybe its a happy thought. Perhaps It’s just neutral. But there is no way t really know just how different things could have been, they could have been better or like a million times worse than things are now. But that’s okay, because that means that right now is the best balance between extremes.

But there is another thought…what if making that choice that would have shattered you out of whatever funk, maybe that choice that you think ruined everything, what if going a different way would have changed nothing, and through all manner of convoluted happenings, the same overall outcome would still be happening to you.

I guess that really boils down to whether you think time and plans and our choices are already planned out for us or if we are actually changing anything. Well I mean we are changing things, but weather we have a choice in the matter is up for debate. Well we don’t have a choice to change things or not, because by the mere fact of us being born we changed someone’s life. We were never given a choice to be alive wherever we are as far as I can remember.

When I was little I thought about the idea that all the babies were hanging out in heaven, or maybe all the dead people in heaven…I was raised christian until my whole family just stopped caring…That all the people in heaven would choose where they would want to be born, and then they would fly down and…be born. It was like a big thing of musical chairs where everybody took a turn being dead and then being born. It didn’t stop with just people either, if you wanted to reborn as a cat or a giraffe you could do that. Morality of whether you were good or bad never factored into my vision of souls jumping back and forth from the afterlife to life-life. I guess this means that my particular view of reincarnation would not have been a practical religion, but perhaps a basis for one.

Point being that religions are meant to give people an ideal of morality and fend off the existential crisis of life. But in the idea that I had meant that choice didn’t really matter. Any creature on earth (my theory never expanded to alien planets) was just as good a choice as any other, and whatever you picked was really just to enjoy living life in a different form. Then you died and got to say “well I’ve been a fox, how about an amoeba?” .  The reason none of us would remember our past lives  while living was a necessity to really live life as whatever creature you chose. Up in heaven you would remember all of them.

It was a nice thought. But the thing was I think I actually believed it for a time and it affected the way I see choices in general. Of course later in life a helping of psychoactive drugs would also change my worldview, but the point I’m trying to make I guess is that we don’t really know what’s behind the scenes, what we can perceive and what we cant, what’s happened and what we remember. Anything we have instilled in our mind as “a way things are” or “A way things are supposed to be”  we had no choice in being told those things.

All you can really choose is to be afraid of the future, or have faith in the future, to regret the past or accept it. Being cynical is a foolish way to seem smart for no reason other than to change the opinions of others.

I guess I don’t really have a point. But I hope you have a good day.